Abuse Facts

He has not changed if:

• He blames her or others for his behavior.
• He uses guilt to manipulate her into dropping charges or keeping silent.
• He does not faithfully attend his treatment program.
• He pressures her to let him move back in before she is ready.
• He will not admit he was abusive.
• He convinces others that she is either abusive or crazy.
• He demands to know where his spouse is and whom she is with.
• He uses her behavior as an excuse to treat her badly.
• He continues to use sarcasm or verbal abuse, talk over his wife, and shows disrespect or superiority.
• He does not respond well to complaints or criticism of his behavior when he slips back into abusive behavior.
• He continues to undermine her authority as a parent, and her credibility as a person.
• His mindset about women has not changed, even though he avoids being abusive.
• He criticizes his spouse for not realizing how much he has changed.

"Completion of a batterer’s intervention program class by a man does not mean his victim is safe or that he has stopped being abusive. While men may learn tools for acting nonviolently, research indicates that many men continue to be abusive, even if they change their tactics." - Embracing Justice: A Resource Guide for Rabbis on Domestic Violence

Resources